Waiting for The Right Mate

People are posting all over the Internet and all over the media “advertising” and “posting” for the guy or girl of their dreams. There are dating sites to “find the right one” and Christianmigle.com says, “Find God’s match for you. “ Firstly, if that was a true Christian site, they would know that God wants to lead us to our “soul mate”. We aren’t to jump the gun. Patience is a virtue. I’m always hearing people say things like, “What am I doing wrong,” or, “I just want to be in a relationship right now because I feel lonely.” I’ve even heard people say things like, “But everyone else has a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

I once suffered from trying to rush to find that “perfect” guy. Now, the story is turned around from adults telling me to have patience to me helping people in these situations. Through talking with various people in many different situations about this, I have counseled people with this:

            First of all, God loves you and made you special. He wouldn’t want you to be with someone who isn’t as special as you are. God made a man to love a woman.

            The way I see it, God wants a man to love you as close to the way He does as possible. The relationship mirrors the relationship Christ has to His people, His Bride. The Bride is to love Christ wholeheartedly, trust Him, honor Him, serve Him selflessly and respect Him. Christ loves his Bride unconditionally and is selfless in His endeavors. He protects, strengthens and carries His Bride through the troubling times. Wouldn’t any girl LOVE to have a man like that?

            Granted, both guys and girls are all flawed because we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, so we will not be perfect (Romans 3:23). But we can strive to embody The Bride (for girls) or Christ (for guys) to show the world that Christ lives in you and show everyone that You LOVE Christ!

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they

may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.”

-Matthew 5:16

“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners,

Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example

for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

-1 Timothy 1:16

            God is like a GPS for your life (while you’re here on earth), Jesus is your passenger, The Holy Spirit is your helper and you are the driver.

            God has created the perfect mate for you. He can see where you are, Point A, and where this man or woman is who He has created for you, Point B. Jesus talks to you along the way, God shows you the next step you must take, and the Holy Spirit helps urge you along the way and lights up the road ahead. If you follow their direction and God’s will, you will surely be led to that special person God has for you. But you must be patient and you must guard your heart. Not everything will be perfect; most people don’t follow God’s every command that He has for them and sometimes they don’t hear Him. But in the end, things will work out to God’s plan.

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to

the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,…”

-Ephesians 1:11

            Just like with a GPS, you are shown or told the steps you must take, but it doesn’t tell you there’s a pothole one mile down the road, when your tire will go flat, or if you get backed up in traffic. There’s one other element: the gasoline for your care. That gas is faith in Him. Faith that He will get you through it. If you give up, then you will eventually just stop. You have to keep believing in Him.

If you feel alone, DON’T.

            Jesus is always with you, even when you don’t register it with your senses. He is. Don’t give up on Him, because He has never given up on you. You have the support of your friends and family, and even coworkers.

Happiness is a state of mind. Joy comes from above. Trust me, I know the difference; I’ve struggled with this. You can take a negative thing and turn it into a positive one.  

            If you tend to be a pessimistic person, find something to be happy about, even if your day is terrible. Everyone needs to be reminded that we are blessed. Did you slept on a mattress with a blanket? Do you have clothes to put on today? Did you have clean, running water this morning and food for the day? Maybe you skipped a meal but you didn’t have to suffer hunger for long. Did you wake up this morning? Did you breathe within the past minute? Do you have someone who loves you? Those are just examples of many things that you can be happy about. If you want true joy, ask God to grant it to you.

            But I know what you are thinking, “Why is my heart broken? Doesn’t God care?” Of course he cares! He holds every tear you ever cried. He hurts when you hurt. He loves you. If you feel that you cannot stand the pain, to the point where you don’t want to crawl out of bed, you just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world, cling to Him! You may not see it at the moment, but this pain that you are feeling right now will make you stronger. Think of it as one of life’s “potholes.” When you are suffering, think of how God’s power and grace is strengthened through our weakness.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is  made perfect in weakness.”

-2 Corinthians 12:9

            I hear these young teenagers crying about how they don’t have a man and it’s the end of their life. I feel so sorry for these girls; they are so young and have a whole life ahead of them but they’re letting the thoughts of boyfriends consume them. I myself was once there.

NEVER compromise your values for anyone, it doesn’t matter how  “amazingly perfect” they seem.

            If they were so “perfect,” as you say, would he or she be putting you in a situation you were uncomfortable with? Sit yourself down and write down your morals. Sometimes just doing this can help you. Write out what you will do and refuse to do. Once you have “set the line” you refuse to cross, stick to it. If someone puts you a situation that may cause you to cross the line you have set, be sure to stop them and make it extremely clear where you draw the line. It may end up inevitably ending your relationship, but in the end, you did what you believed in. You have put God first and this makes him proud of you.

            This is coming from someone with experience: I left my ex-boyfriend because he wasn’t satisfied with waiting for our potential wedding day.

            I was hurting for a while because I thought he was different and I thought I loved him. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I look back now and realize that I want nothing but blessings for my ex. I want him to come to experience Him like I have. I feel empowered now. I feel stronger! I never want to give in to the ways of this world. I realize now that I am a woman made by a loving God.

Finally, if you are doing everything you can think of to do correctly and you still can’t see where your “guy” is, then here comes the hard part: WAITING!

            I’ve been waiting myself. My first boyfriend came when I was 18; a much older age than many other young people. Patience is a virtue, a harder virtue to uphold for some people than others. Maybe it’s not you who’s being worked on at the moment, did you ever stop to think that God just may be working on your mate as well? God is the master potter and He is molding you and your mate and everyone else. You wouldn’t want the perfect person for you to be only half done, would you? I know I wouldn’t. The truth is, no one can understand everything that God is doing in their lives.