Sunday, September 30, 2012


                I was once in the position where I had kids teasing me and telling me to kill myself. My only safe haven was the comfort of my family and the love of God. He protected me and guarded me.

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?
You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

                A problem that is becoming more and more prominent is suicide. Suicide is not a new or radical idea. The Bible itself records seven suicides, including that of Judas. Suicide is a very troubling topic. God does not want us to kill ourselves. As a matter of fact, it is a sin to kill yourself. We are the body of Christ. Christ lives in us and we are to be a temple for Him. When we accepted Christ as our savior we surrendered our lives to Him; we told Him to do as He pleases. If we kill ourselves, we are not glorifying God. God does not bring death. Rather, He brings life.

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”

-Romans 6:23

                John 10:10 tells us that the enemy brings death, but with Christ comes life and life alone. Death and destruction are the work of Satan and God says that He does not want anyone to perish. Some people continue to say that they deserve pain and death and that is why they self-harm or attempt suicide. No one deserves that though. God is the ultimate avenger and will avenge someone when He feels necessary (Romans 12:19). If you feel this way, that is just demons attacking you. Don’t let them overtake and control your emotions and thoughts…your life. Christ already paid for your sins and if you have Christ as your savior, you don’t have to pay for your sins through your own blood. Your old person died with Christ. You are resurrected and made alive with Christ.

Think you’re joking when you tell someone to kill themselves? It’s not something to joke about. You never know how hard it can hit someone. And if you have Christ as you’re savior, these are the people you should be reaching out to. The outcast who has no one to talk to. The one who everyone bullies day in and day out. The one who feels like they don’t have a way out. You should be showing the love of Christ so that they would have that desire to have God. Christ is supposed to live in you and if you are constantly being negative towards other people, you’re not letting Christ work through you. Galatians 6:2 tells us that if we bear one another’s’ burdens we are fulfilling the law of Christ. Therefore, you can’t fulfill the law of Christ if you are bringing others down.

Want to kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out your razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you lying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell your dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, who is crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him. He realizes what’s going on and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex-boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you...he can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, and wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad…bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry; she can’t feel anything. She’s numb. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self-harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lies in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just affect you. They affect everyone. Don’t end your life; you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. 

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