Receiving What You Want

“Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

-Psalm 37:4

                We are often told to just pray and we will get what we want. But, we need to remember that we get what we want if it fits in with God’s plan for us. If we ask for something that will alter us and cause us to go against God’s will then we will not receive it. As Christians, we cannot complain about we do and don’t get. For example, say someone prays to win the lottery but they do not win it. God had a reason for not giving it to them. Maybe He knew that they would become greedy or they would fall away from Him. Therefore, He prevented it.

                One thing that I always prayed about was that I would be able to speak in tongues. It was a desire I had since I was 13 or 14. I prayed about it every night before I went to bed and every time I was worshiping at church. On August 4, I had a dream. Everything was completely black and all I saw was me with my hands raised to God, speaking in tongues. When I woke up, I was speaking in tongues for a few more seconds! I was in complete awe and I was so happy. God had finally answered my prayer. I still can’t speak in tongues whenever I feel like it, but I am still overjoyed that I spoke in tongues that one time.

                Like in my case, sometimes you may have to wait weeks, months, and even years, before your prayers are answered. What’s the most important thing to do? Make sure your life is aligned with God and His will. All the years that I had prayed to speak in tongues my life wasn’t as perfect as I thought it was. I was blinded by my own ignorance. But I finally gave everything up and aligned my life with God and heaven opened for me.

                Submit to God. Change for Him. Obey His word. Once we see that, we will see miracles and He will bless us and use us to bless others. If we have nothing, then we can give nothing. When you receive salvation, we are aligned to God’s will. When we pray, we pray according to His will. If we want healing, healing will come. If we want prosperity, prosperity will come.

“Pray like this, ‘Our father who is in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come.

Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

-Matthew 6:9-10

                If you desire God’s will, then you will receive what you want. God wants to use you to bring others around you to Him. He wants to use you to change people-change society-so that everything is used for Him. Also, you reap what you sow. If you bring curses and hatred to others, you will not receive what you want.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”

-Galatians 6:7

A Lesson Learned From Habakkuk

                 Habakkuk was a prophet in the Old Testament. He was the eighth of the twelve minor prophets collected in the Old Testament. Little is known about him besides what facts we can gather from the book of Habakkuk. It is uncertain about the period of time that he lived but it is assumed that it was around 612 B.C. The book contains five oracles about the Babylonians and this was around the time of their rise in power. Although the book only contains three short chapters it is still important. We should live by his example in our prayer life.

“How long, O Lord, must I call for help, but you do

not listen? Or cry out to you, ‘Violence!’

but you do not save? Why do

you make me look at injustice?”

-Habakkuk 1:1-3

                In the first four verses of the book, Habakkuk is questioning God how He can tolerate the sin and evil that is happening. He tells God there is no justice and great strife. The Lord’s reply is that He has plans for the Babylonians. He tries to console Habakkuk and put peace in his heart.

“Look at the nations and watch- be utterly

amazed. For I am going to do

something in your days that you would no believe,

even if you were told.”

-Habakkuk 1:5

                Habakkuk makes a second complaint. He says that the Lord just looks on at the violence and the strife that is among the people of Jerusalem. Habakkuk compares Babylonians like fishermen and the rest of the world like fish. He says that the Babylonians conquer nations and destroys them as they get rich off of them.

“You have made men like fish in the sea, like sea creatures

that have no ruler. The wicked foe pulls all of them up with hooks, he

catches them in his net, he gathers them up in

his dragnet; and so rejoices and is glad.”

-Habakkuk 1:15

                God, in return, says that Babylon will eventually be judged and destroyed. The Babylonians work in vain and will be judged for gaining unearned wealth. The Babylonians worship idols and cause others to fall into sin. This won’t last long though according to 2:3. The end will not come right away but it will happen at its appointed time. In the third and final chapter, Habakkuk realizes that everything happens according to God’s will.

“Yet I will wait patiently for the day of calamity

to come on the nation invading us.”

-Habakkuk 3:16

                We can relate this story to the leadership of our country or the terrorist attacks that happened on 2001. We can even relate it to bullies in our schools and workplace. We can pray and pray that God will change their hearts or punish them. Sometimes we might feel God is taking too long and we never cease to encounter conflict. We lose hope and question how God can let these people bring harm to His people. God will take care of them in due time. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us that there is a time for everything.

                At first, Habakkuk complained and tried to move the hand of God. In the end, however, he came to realize the truth and reality that we should all recognize. If our prayers aren’t answered right away, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t hear us. He will answer them if and when He sees fit. It doesn’t mean He loves us any less; after all, He gave His one and only begotten son so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16). Although from the Old Testament, the testimonies throughout this part of the Bible can be related to our everyday lives in 2012 and beyond.

“Consider what God has done:

Who can make straight what God has made crooked?”

-Ecclesiastes 7:13

Fasting

“Even now,’ declares the Lord, ‘return to me with all your

heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.”

-Joel 2:12

                What is fasting? It is another means by which we can suffer for the Lord, through the voluntary abstinence from eating. Biblical fasting is not for physical purposes but rather for spiritual. It is used to gain a deeper fellowship with God.  It is something that is good, profitable, and beneficial.  The focus of fasting should not be on the lack of food but rather to take your eyes off of the things of this world and focus completely on God. The physical benefits such as detox and weight loss, are just an added blessing.

                Fasting and prayer are often done together as seen in Luke 2:37. Through fasting, answers to prayers are easier to decipher and the voice of the Lord is easily heard. Our flesh is suppressed and our spiritual sensitivity is heightened so that we can gain new knowledge and we could even decipher visions and dreams like Daniel did.  Before making important decisions, the disciples and prophets would fast so that they would know the will of God for them.

“While they were worshipping the Lord and fasting the Holy

Spirit said, ‘Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for

the work to which I have called them.”

-Acts 13:2

                Fasting cannot be done for the wrong reasons or for personal gain. God often ordered fasting upon His people so that they may repent for wrongdoings that they did. We should do the same in our lives.

“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords

of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?”

-Isaiah 58:6

                If we have selfish motives, then our fast will not be accepted by the Lord.   We can see that our motives for fasting should be pure. We should not boast about it so that we seem spiritually stronger but we are to not draw attention on ourselves. We cannot fast and have evil, unrepented sin or selfishness in our lives and expect God to answer our cries. We must seek our hearts and discover what our real motives are.

“Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please and exploit all

your workers. Your fasting ends in quarreling and

strife, and in striking each other with wicked fists. You cannot

fast as you do today and expect your voice to be heard on high.”

-Isaiah 58:3-4

                Today, many modern Christians feel that fasting is outdated but looking at the Word, we can see that the principle of fasting was never made obsolete or done away with by God. Matthew 6:16-18 says that when we fast we are to do it unto the Lord. He doesn’t say if we fast.

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they

disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting.

I tell you the truth, they have received their rewards in

full. But when you fast, put oil

on your head and wash your face, so that it

will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only

to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who

sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

-Matthew 6:16-18

                Two reasons for fasting are to receive spiritual cleansing and to obtain victory over the devil. When Jesus was led into temptation during his encounter with Satan, he was able to overcome him because his fasting had given him spiritual strength. We can receive more of the Lord’s spirit and gain new understandings, as well as break addictive habits that are not healthy for our spirits. Fasting is not meant to move the hand of God, but is meant to make Satan lose a hold of us.

                By afflicting our soul (Isaiah 58:3), we are saying to our flesh, “You are demanding to eat but Christ is stronger than the desires of my flesh. My spirit shall rule and my flesh shall not have dominion over me.” Fasting is not a way to move the hand of God and receive what we want but it is to see what GOD wants for us.

              There are different types of fasts: Regular fast, partial fast, absolute fast, Daniel fast, corporate fast. Jesus fasted and set an example for us.

“Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert

to be tempted by the devil. After fasting

forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter

came to him and said, 'If you are the Son of God,

tell these stones to become bread.’

Jesus answered, ‘It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but

on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

-Matthew 4:1-4

                Deuteronomy chapter 8 is proof of this. The Israelites were in the wilderness for forty years but survived on the manna given by God and his Word. They went through an absolute fast. In Act 9:9 Saul immediately went a three day absolute fast upon his conversion. The body can go a number of days without food, but cannot go for long periods without water. Therefore, there are few absolute fasts that last longer than three days. One of these accounts was when Moses spent forty days and night on Mount Sinai without food or water. He had a supernatural encounter with God that sustained him during that time.

“And he was there with the Lord forty days and forty nights; he did

neither eat bread, nor drink water. And he wrote upon the tables the words

of the covenant, the ten commandments.”

-Exodus 34:28

                Partial fasts can be done for one meal, one day, one month, or however you feel lead by God. Shorter fasts are easier to endure until we have built our spiritual muscles and our faith increases. A three day fast is beneficial as a spiritual cleansing as seen in Acts 9:17-18. Paul was thrust into it upon his conversion so that he would be cleansed and receive the Holy Spirit. A partial fast can also include giving up fleshly desires like watching TV, playing video games, or having intercourse with your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:5).

                During a Daniel fast, we abstain from eating pleasant foods, meat, and wine and restrict ourselves to fruits, vegetables, and water. Why is this called a Daniel fast? Because in Daniel 10:2-3 we see that for three weeks Daniel  partook in this fast.

“In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks.

I ate no pleasant bread, neither came flesh nor

wine in my mouth, neither did

I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”

-Daniel 10:2-3

                We also see that in Daniel 1:8-17, Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah ate only fruits and vegetables and drank only water. They looked healthier than all of the other young men so the king ordered all of them to give up choice foods and wine.

                A corporate fast is a fast done by a group of people at the same time. God calls His people to set up a sacred and holy fast in the Old Testament. He did this because they needed to repent and give up fleshly desires so that they may draw close to God.

“Declare a holy fast; call a sacred assembly.”

-Joel 1:14

                Fasting and mourning are often closely associated in the Bible. Two examples are in Ezra and Nehemiah. Both men in Ezra 10:6 and Nehemiah 1:4 fast and mourn for the repentance of God’s people.

                Fasting is also a way we can minister unto the Lord. We read in Acts 13:2 that they ministered unto the Lord and fasted. It is a way we can offer the time we generally spend in eating as unto the Lord in prayer. As we spend this time with Him, it causes things to happen in the Spirit. We do not understand this principle any more than other mysteries in the Bible, but we find that by applying it we get results. There are many things I don't understand with my natural mind, but I receive them by faith because the Word of God says they are true. If God's Word says it, that settles it. In our fasting, the Lord wants to use us to bless others as well. Isaiah 58:7 tells us that during a time of fasting we can give spiritual bread and food to those in need as well as cloth and shelter them.

                Fasting often comes spontaneously like when we are mourning or sick. It is our subconscious way of dealing with a situation and receiving healing. Others are so busy seeking God’s guidance that they forget to eat. Others are in parts of the world where there is little food so they can spend time seeking God and He will bless them as He would a voluntary fast.

                By taking our eyes off the things of this world, we can more successfully turn our attention to Christ. Fasting is not a way to get God to do what we want. Fasting changes us, not God. Fasting is not a way to appear more spiritual than others. Fasting is to be done in a spirit of humility and a joyful attitude.

Answering the Call

“The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord

of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”

-Matthew 9:37-38

                God has a special calling on each and every one of our lives. We are put in certain places at certain times. Once we are saved and surrender our lives to God, nothing can interfere with His word and His plans for us. What he wants us to do is to snatch others out of the fire and help lead them to the salvation found in Jesus. He wants us to make disciples out of all the nations. The harvest is the believers of Christ, the harvest field is the very earth that we walk, and the workers are those who answered the calling to serve the Lord and reach out to others to spread the Word.

“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,

baptizing them in the name of the Father

and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,

and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”

-Matthew 28:19-20

                When He tells us this, He doesn’t necessarily mean to go on missions trips. That’s not his calling for everyone. What He wants you to do is to witness to those in your workplace or at the store, in your community. We can even set examples in our friendships, marriages; pretty much any relationship. Some of us need to be on the home front! It doesn’t mean you have to actually preach about Him, but in your character set an example of righteousness so that those around you can desire what you have: Jesus. If you carry yourself the right way, someone might approach and ask about the joy you have and there’s a perfect opportunity to plant a seed! He intentionally puts certain people into our care, under our wing to help guide them on their walk with God. We need to be good role models and leaders but also remember that not everyone we witness to will be put under our guidance. Some might sow and some might water, but we all have different tasks (1 Corinthians 3:5-9, 1 Corinthians 12:4-6). Some people feel that they shouldn't be near non-believers but if we spend all our time cooped up with fellow believers then how are we going to help minister to those who haven’t received Christ or had God revealed to them? How are we going to do God’s will? How will we be shepherds to those that God has predestined to be part of “our flock”?

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

-Matthew 9:12

                We do need to keep our guard up too though so that we don’t fall into temptations of those around us. As we minister to others and partake in discipleship, the enemy will try to attack us but we need to be strong and put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20).

“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves, therefore

be as shrewd as a snake and as innocent as doves.”

-Matthew 10:16

                Don’t be scared, God will protect you and guide you to where you need to be. He will help lead you out of temptation if you have a desire to do his works (1 Corinthians 10:13). Don’t intentionally place yourself into a dangerous situation that may lead to backsliding, but just allow God’s will to be done. The Lord protects those who serve him (Psalm 23, Psalm 27:1-3, Hebrews 13:5-6) and he directs their paths.

‘Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

-Acts 9:6

“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you

may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

-1 Peter 2:9

                Those who answer to God’s apostolic calling and witness to others will receive a reward. But just a reminder, this is not the only requirement to receive the reward. You must also have faith, obey the law, confess your sins and accept Christ as your Savior. You must be a light unto the world by performing good deeds and having a proper character (Matthew 5:16). That reward is an eternal life in Heaven.

“Those who are wise will shine like the brightness

of the heavens, and those who lead others

to righteousness will shine like the stars for ever and ever.”

-Daniel 12:3

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving

as overseers-not because you must, but because you are willing, as

God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager

to serve; not lording it over those

entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.

And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the

crown of glory that will never fade away.”

-1 Peter 5:2-4

A Shaky Walk With God: My Testimony

“They overcame him by the blood

of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

-Revelation 12:11

                As Christians, we need to realize how powerful our testimony can be in planting seeds and leading others to the salvation they can have in Christ. Those not yet rescued want to know that someone can relate to what they’re going through in their life. They need to know that they aren't being judged and feel welcomed to have a relationship. Many people don’t realize that many Christians went through a lot before they received Christ as their savior. Lately many people have been telling me about the anointing I have on my life and that they love the passion for the Lord that I have. But I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always outgoing and cheerful. I’m not a perfect person and I made my mistakes. I wasn’t always on the right path. So, I thought I’d share my testimony.

                I was raised in a Christian house. My parents were saved several years before I was born so naturally I went to church starting from a very young age. I always knew who God was and I believed that he existed. But I spent little time praying or studying the scripture and there were certain life events that led me astray. My walk with God was always on and off. I only went to him when I felt like it but yet he still kept waiting for me with open arms, waiting for me to come back. I always had a passion to serve Christ but I didn’t let it show because I was nervous. I kept forgetting that God would never leave me nor forsake me. No man could hurt me. It’s like that old saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.”

                I was always enrolled in a public school. Public school is hard for a child to experience, especially as a follower of Christ. There are so many other kids who don’t know who Christ is so the enemy uses them to attack the born again. Starting in the first grade I can remember always being teased and made fun of-either being called a Jesus freak or ugly and sometimes I was made fun of just for other kids to get a laugh and to try to gain more friends. I went through this until I graduated the twelfth grade. I always thought that I was useless but I realize that now I can use this as a powerful testimony for those teens and young adults facing the same issues I went through.

                Because of this torment, I always felt like I wanted to fit in and wanted the other kids to like me. I wasn’t thinking about how Jesus suffered and I wasn’t thinking about the gifts I would receive once this life was over and I was in Heaven. I was too blind to see that I'm beautiful just the way God made me. I was young and was focused on other things. All I knew was that I wanted the teasing to end. In the 8^th grade, I got sucked into MySpace, which was not a good place. I had pictures of myself posted and even had hundreds of people who I didn’t even personally know as friends. I wasn’t thinking about the dangers, I just knew I was getting attention and people were telling me I was pretty. People always seem nicer on the Internet. My dad found out about it when I was in the 10^th grade and quickly brought it to an end. I thank God that I actually grew up with a father who cared and always looked out for my best interest. He always helped me get back up when I was falling. 

                I went to the youth group at my church starting in the 7^th grade but it was just like public schools. Girls wearing revealing clothes and faces caked with make-up and hair dyed; boys being complete goof balls; and no one paying attention to the message. We were all still lost although we always referred to ourselves as Christian. But, it states in numerous places in the New Testament that the youth will be rebellious during the end times. It also states that we can’t just profess our faith in Jesus, we need to carry ourselves like Him and do His will. I was the girl who sat in the back and didn’t talk to anyone because of fear of rejection that I received in high school. It stayed with me in other aspects of my life. At the age of 14 I was water baptized. I felt like a completely different person and could feel the Holy Spirit in me. But that didn’t last long. As a young female, Satan really wanted me, something that wasn’t his for the taking. I was up until 2 and 3 o’clock in the morning texting boys.  I eventually stopped going to the youth group at the end of the tenth grade. Because I was still being made fun of, I was still looking for ways to fit in.  I started wearing make-up and changed the way I dressed. I wasn’t unique anymore; I looked just like everyone else. This still didn’t work. I had people telling me every day that I was ugly and needed to kill myself so everyone else could be happy. I eventually pushed God to the side and never mentioned him. I rarely thought about him. I was on the road to destruction. I was crying almost every day because of the kids teasing me. I shouldn’t have been crying; I should have been rejoicing! Now that I’m older, I realize this.

              My senior year of high school I always said that the kids weren’t affecting me anymore. But deep down they were. I wasn't fully committed to Christ so I was traumatized. I started to sneak different shoes and clothes to school so I could try to fit in with all of the other girls. My mom and I didn’t have the best of relationships and it came to a point where I wasn’t doing anything with her.  I felt like I wasn’t useful to God and I felt that He wasn’t working in me. 

                A few months towards the end of the twelfth grade I went back to youth group at a different church. This church was different. I felt welcome. The kids seemed more respectful. But then I moved to Delaware. I started college at an all-girls art school in Philadelphia. There is rarely ever any mention of God there. It was only me and a few other girls who openly voiced that we were God fearing and we had received new life through Christ But I was still led into temptation. At my place of work, I was interacting with the wrong guys and it led me into trouble. I ran away from home for a day and through this, it led me back to Christ. I broke down and recommitted myself to Christ. I demanded that Satan leave my life. My family and I were on and off with church because we were trying to find the right church for us.. I would bring my bible to school and read it every morning. Girls would say, “Why are you reading that,” or “Why would you believe in God?” I ignored it and continued to do this. But once again, I was attacked by the enemy. I opened a Facebook account and was dragged down, threatening to commit suicide. This just caused a big mess. My college made me go to a psychiatrist so I could get analyzed so that they could know if I was a threat to myself or not. Once again, I was drawn back to Christ. 

                This didn’t last long though once again. However, although I was not focused on my own walk with Christ, I was still concerned with others’. I helped lead my boyfriend at the time to saying a prayer of salvation and  coming to Christ. There would sometimes be homeless people in front of my college looking to get free food from the vendor that sits outside. I would buy them meals with the little money that I had, just so I could witness to them about Christ and show his mercy, love and grace. I would say, “Jesus loves you,” or “God bless you.” One woman, once I said this gave me a big hug and it always touched my heart that I could plant a seed of Jesus in these people. Some of these people might have never received the compassion I was giving them and it was all for Christ. I was still creating Christian items for my online store through the gift that God gave me and wearing my Christian shirts.  I would still talk about God and give tracts to people. I've sponsored a young girl in the Philippines for the past 2 years and I always send a tract and Gospel of John in the packages I send to my customers.  But doing these good deeds alone wasn't enough to ensure my place in Heaven. I needed to put my trust back in God and help build my relationship with him. I needed to surrender everything for him to do His will.

                My boyfriend and I eventually broke up. I was crushed by losing someone I had fallen in love with. I put my all into everything I did for him. I always lifted him up. He even had an engagement ring picked out for me. But eventually, he started to ignore my calls and texts and he allowed another female friend to call me ugly and threaten to beat me up and call me a pest. Turns out that while him and I were in a relationship he really loved this other girl. He ignored me for a week straight and allowed his dad to tell me that we couldn't see each other anymore. I ended things with him and he didn't even fight for me. 2 weeks later I was talking to another guy. I knew my dad wouldn’t approve of him but I continued to do so just because of the temptation and to know that someone was interested in me. But my dad eventually found out once again and this led me to cutting him off.

                I became disrespectful to my dad and then I realized, “I want a stronger, more real relationship with God.” Not because of pleasing my dad but because of pleasing my Father in heaven. This drew me back to Christ 2 months ago. I started going back to my current church and I’m stronger than ever. I’m a happier person and my relationship with my parents is healing. I’ve realized that I’m beautiful just the way I am and if anyone says otherwise, I don’t listen to them. I can finally look in the mirror and feel beautiful without the make-up. I'm becoming actively involved with my church and getting involved with the different groups and ministries. God is using me for His works. My mom and I get along so much better now. I have better social skills and God is looking out for me; because of giving my time and labor to God, God rewards me not only with a place in Heaven but sales at my store are increasing. I’m able to surround myself with other people who believe in the same God as me and who serve him. I have people encouraging me instead of bringing me down. Not only am I a blessing to them but they are a blessing to me. I’m learning what it’s like to have people besides my family who care about me and who I can talk to and be myself around. I feel instantly comfortable and don't feel like I'm being judged and I don't have that fear of being an outcast. God has helped me completely remove those thoughts from my mind. I don’t focus on the loss of my boyfriend. Sure, it still hurts every now and then but God always puts peace in my heart. Now that I’m more mature I realize that I don’t need to please anyone on earth or seek out a boyfriend; God will place him in my life at his own time if it is his will. I'm not focused on a boyfriend; God makes everything beautiful in its own time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). I look at the loss of my boyfriend as a blessing because now I have more time for serving the Lord. He was just holding me back. I'm not going to church just to make friends. It's amazing what God can do! I've cut out all the negative people from my life so I can take some time to mature in the Spirit and grow in my relationship with Christ. What help is it helping others if I do not yet have a firm relationship with the Lord?

                 Some people ask me where I want to be in 5 years or 10 years. But this is my answer: I don't know; I can't make that call. God will reveal it to me when the time is right. I plan on living according to His will and I won't let anything get in the way. He'll direct me to where I need to be and if it's His will opportunities will arise for me or certain circumstances will arise that will cause me not to get what I want. This is because God needs me to be a certain place at a certain time so that I can reach out to people and bring them to Jesus. My life is in His hands and I am unafraid of what He has planned. I leave it all up to him, having faith in everything he does. 

                I know that my struggle may not be as great as someone else’s. Some have dealt with alcohol or gambling. Others have dealt with crimes that have put them in prison. But my journey and my struggle was still an emotional one. I was still a sinner, as we all are. And Jesus was my solution; God gave him to the world so that we may be saved. Society, without me realizing it, traumatized me and the only healer that could save me was Christ. Most people say that with what I went through for 12 years in school could only be healed by a psychiatrist. But that's not true. God was there and he's helped me now that I came back to him. My back is no longer turned away from him and I want to bring glory and honor to his name alone. I'm working as a servant for the Lord, as we are ordained to do.   I didn't know what my spiritual gifts were either and the power Christ could have through me. I took the test and had several gifts that topped the list with the same amount of points. These gifts were hospitality, giving, pastoring, teaching, evangelism, knowledge, wisdom, faith, encouragement, exhortation, missionary, healing, intercession, mercy, leadership, apostleship, writing, and craftsmanship (some say craftsmanship and writing are talents, not gifts). At first, I thought that it was absurd that I could possess all of these gifts. However, in these  last 2 months, after I 100% committed my life to God, I have notice all of these gifts showing through me all for the glory of God. At first, it started out with just one or two of the gifts showing but as I started to devote more time to God, more gifts started to shine. I am now laying hands on people and praying for them, seeing the healing power of Christ and the peace He can lay on people with broken hearts. He’s speaking through me so that I can share my knowledge of His word with others and teach them. I’m seeing the smiles I bring to people’s faces because of the light that shines in me. Don't let opportunities pass you by; experience what God has planned for you!

                With this testimony, I hope to reach people dealing with addictions and the teens and young adults who are dealing with peer pressure, depression, and the loss of loved ones. I want to help teach and guide teens in the way of the Lord. I want to share my testimony at churches to reach those who are secretly feel lonely, useless, and depressed so that they know they can open up to me and I can help then find the Christ that loves them; they can know I love them too. I want to draw people to Christ and let them know that there are people of God who have struggled with the same issues as any other person and there is an end to it once you come to God. 

               So, if you haven’t committed your life to God yet, just remember that I and many others understand what you are dealing with. God is calling out to you. There's a reason why you're reading this right now. God wants you to go to him and he wants to use you for his works. You're his child, and he wants you back home. None of us are perfect and most of us have stood where you are. Our lives were on the wrong track instead of the one that leads to Heaven. No person needs God more than another. We all need him the same; we’ve all just been put in different situations so that we may realize this. God has an abundant amount of faith to pour upon each and every person on this planet. We just need to accept him.     

“But small is the gate and narrow the

road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

-Matthew 7:14     
 

                To know God is not a religion, it’s a relationship. If you want to be forgiven by God and come into a relationship with him, you can do so right now by asking him to forgive you and come into your life. Jesus said, "Behold, I stand at the door [of your heart] and knock. He who hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him [or her].” If you want to do this, but aren't sure how to put it into words, this may help:   
   

Father God in Heaven,

I come to you in the name of Jesus. I acknowledge to you that I am

a sinner and I’m sorry for the life I’ve lived; I need your forgiveness.

I believe that your only Son Jesus Christ shed his precious blood on

the cross and died for my sins so I may have everlasting life in your

kingdom. Right now I confess Jesus as my Lord and savior. I believe

with my heart that you raised Jesus from the dead. From this moment

on I live for you. I want to know you in a real way. Transform me

Use me as you see fit. Thank you for your unlimited grace that saved

me from my sins. Amen.