Waiting for The Right Mate

People are posting all over the Internet and all over the media “advertising” and “posting” for the guy or girl of their dreams. There are dating sites to “find the right one” and Christianmigle.com says, “Find God’s match for you. “ Firstly, if that was a true Christian site, they would know that God wants to lead us to our “soul mate”. We aren’t to jump the gun. Patience is a virtue. I’m always hearing people say things like, “What am I doing wrong,” or, “I just want to be in a relationship right now because I feel lonely.” I’ve even heard people say things like, “But everyone else has a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

I once suffered from trying to rush to find that “perfect” guy. Now, the story is turned around from adults telling me to have patience to me helping people in these situations. Through talking with various people in many different situations about this, I have counseled people with this:

            First of all, God loves you and made you special. He wouldn’t want you to be with someone who isn’t as special as you are. God made a man to love a woman.

            The way I see it, God wants a man to love you as close to the way He does as possible. The relationship mirrors the relationship Christ has to His people, His Bride. The Bride is to love Christ wholeheartedly, trust Him, honor Him, serve Him selflessly and respect Him. Christ loves his Bride unconditionally and is selfless in His endeavors. He protects, strengthens and carries His Bride through the troubling times. Wouldn’t any girl LOVE to have a man like that?

            Granted, both guys and girls are all flawed because we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, so we will not be perfect (Romans 3:23). But we can strive to embody The Bride (for girls) or Christ (for guys) to show the world that Christ lives in you and show everyone that You LOVE Christ!

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they

may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.”

-Matthew 5:16

“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners,

Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example

for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

-1 Timothy 1:16

            God is like a GPS for your life (while you’re here on earth), Jesus is your passenger, The Holy Spirit is your helper and you are the driver.

            God has created the perfect mate for you. He can see where you are, Point A, and where this man or woman is who He has created for you, Point B. Jesus talks to you along the way, God shows you the next step you must take, and the Holy Spirit helps urge you along the way and lights up the road ahead. If you follow their direction and God’s will, you will surely be led to that special person God has for you. But you must be patient and you must guard your heart. Not everything will be perfect; most people don’t follow God’s every command that He has for them and sometimes they don’t hear Him. But in the end, things will work out to God’s plan.

“In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to

the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,…”

-Ephesians 1:11

            Just like with a GPS, you are shown or told the steps you must take, but it doesn’t tell you there’s a pothole one mile down the road, when your tire will go flat, or if you get backed up in traffic. There’s one other element: the gasoline for your care. That gas is faith in Him. Faith that He will get you through it. If you give up, then you will eventually just stop. You have to keep believing in Him.

If you feel alone, DON’T.

            Jesus is always with you, even when you don’t register it with your senses. He is. Don’t give up on Him, because He has never given up on you. You have the support of your friends and family, and even coworkers.

Happiness is a state of mind. Joy comes from above. Trust me, I know the difference; I’ve struggled with this. You can take a negative thing and turn it into a positive one.  

            If you tend to be a pessimistic person, find something to be happy about, even if your day is terrible. Everyone needs to be reminded that we are blessed. Did you slept on a mattress with a blanket? Do you have clothes to put on today? Did you have clean, running water this morning and food for the day? Maybe you skipped a meal but you didn’t have to suffer hunger for long. Did you wake up this morning? Did you breathe within the past minute? Do you have someone who loves you? Those are just examples of many things that you can be happy about. If you want true joy, ask God to grant it to you.

            But I know what you are thinking, “Why is my heart broken? Doesn’t God care?” Of course he cares! He holds every tear you ever cried. He hurts when you hurt. He loves you. If you feel that you cannot stand the pain, to the point where you don’t want to crawl out of bed, you just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world, cling to Him! You may not see it at the moment, but this pain that you are feeling right now will make you stronger. Think of it as one of life’s “potholes.” When you are suffering, think of how God’s power and grace is strengthened through our weakness.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is  made perfect in weakness.”

-2 Corinthians 12:9

            I hear these young teenagers crying about how they don’t have a man and it’s the end of their life. I feel so sorry for these girls; they are so young and have a whole life ahead of them but they’re letting the thoughts of boyfriends consume them. I myself was once there.

NEVER compromise your values for anyone, it doesn’t matter how  “amazingly perfect” they seem.

            If they were so “perfect,” as you say, would he or she be putting you in a situation you were uncomfortable with? Sit yourself down and write down your morals. Sometimes just doing this can help you. Write out what you will do and refuse to do. Once you have “set the line” you refuse to cross, stick to it. If someone puts you a situation that may cause you to cross the line you have set, be sure to stop them and make it extremely clear where you draw the line. It may end up inevitably ending your relationship, but in the end, you did what you believed in. You have put God first and this makes him proud of you.

            This is coming from someone with experience: I left my ex-boyfriend because he wasn’t satisfied with waiting for our potential wedding day.

            I was hurting for a while because I thought he was different and I thought I loved him. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I look back now and realize that I want nothing but blessings for my ex. I want him to come to experience Him like I have. I feel empowered now. I feel stronger! I never want to give in to the ways of this world. I realize now that I am a woman made by a loving God.

Finally, if you are doing everything you can think of to do correctly and you still can’t see where your “guy” is, then here comes the hard part: WAITING!

            I’ve been waiting myself. My first boyfriend came when I was 18; a much older age than many other young people. Patience is a virtue, a harder virtue to uphold for some people than others. Maybe it’s not you who’s being worked on at the moment, did you ever stop to think that God just may be working on your mate as well? God is the master potter and He is molding you and your mate and everyone else. You wouldn’t want the perfect person for you to be only half done, would you? I know I wouldn’t. The truth is, no one can understand everything that God is doing in their lives.

Submisson

              The word 'submit' means to voluntarily put yourself in another person's hands. Chaos occurs when everyone is trying to lead at the same time. So the husband has been designated by God (Genesis 3:16) in each family to be the lead and the other to put themselves in the leader's trusting hands. The wife is not stupid or talentless but is weaker as a physical vessel and should be treated accordingly.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives,

and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as

heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

-1 Peter 3:7            

                Many women today feel that they can be the head of the house and that they can boss their husbands around. They feel that they have the final say in everything and try to control the husband. However, the bible tells us that the wife is supposed to be submissive to the husband.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as

Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also

wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

-Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

-Colossians 3:18

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands,

so that, if any of them do not believe

the word, they may be won over without

words by the behavior of their wives…”

1 Peter 3:1

-A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;

restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.”

-Proverbs 27:15

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than

share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

-Proverbs 25:24

                However, remember not to take these passages out of context. A woman should not give in to her husband blindly, totally, and completely if it means violating her rights or causes her to sin. It does not mean to treat her like a minor without good judgment.

                This passage is often quoted by husbands when the wife does the opposite of what the husband wants her to do. This passage does not justify the abuse of wife-abuse physically or verbally. The wife is the heart of the family; her actions are often based on emotions. The man’s job is the head of the family; his actions are based on reasoning most of the time. They are meant to complement each other and work together, not contradict.

                A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the church. And how does Christ love? With a sacrificial love.  And this must be the husband’s love for his wife.  It must be a sacrificial love!  It must never be a selfish love.  Christ loved the church, not that the church might do things for Him, but that He might do things for the church. This would assure the woman that she could not be abused in any way and would make it very easy to submit to him.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,…”

-Ephesians 5:16

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

-Colossians 3:19

       

                If Jesus is the head of the church and the head of his body that the Father has given to him, then he is the head of the bride or wife in the spiritual marriage contract between mankind and God. We, in the spiritual marriage, are to be submissive to the Lord’s will.

           

           Did Jesus ever say that he rebelled against the Father's wishes? No! He said that whatever he was doing it was because the Father had sent him to do it. This shows an awful lot of respect and trust in Jesus by the Father to do the right thing doesn't it? Did Jesus ever think it wrong to admit that he was God and that he had an equal footing in the Godhead before and after he became Jesus the Christ? No, for the Bible states:

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the

 form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself

 of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men."

-Philippians 2:5-7

            In another place he says that he laid down his own life and that it was not taken from him without his permission:

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.  

And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. "

-1 John 3:16

                So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship between him and God and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation was formed. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is being mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery and that was how Jesus was treated when he was given over to the Sanhedrin and for that matter by us who have been the ones who were guilty of disobedience in the first place.

                And even in a marriage relationship we are not to live under turmoil but in peace and if this is not happening we need to leave this kind of relationship.

"But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage

 in such cases.  But God has called us to peace. "

-1 Corinthians 7:15

                The woman should trust the man that he will make the right decisions. But sometimes the wife may have more expertise in a certain situation and her opinion should be taken into consideration.

"For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.  'For this

reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'This is a great 
mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife 
see that she respects her husband."

-Ephesians 5:30-33

            However, submission is not a wife only deal. A man should also be submissive in certain situations. It is important in all relationships that submission occurs-not in the wrong situations, but when it is possible. We are to develop relationships of trust and confidence and respect so there is an element of submission in everything we do. Jesus submitted to the Father's will until he was crucified and then The Father put all authority under the feet of Jesus. The wife submits to her own husband and he loves her so much that he in turn gives much authority and trust and confidence in her opinion and sets her in high esteem for the world to see. To understand the meaning of submission from God's perspective we must first of all submit to God and do as he has instructed so that we may all benefit from a lifetime of blessings.

“Instead, whoever wants to become great among you

must be your servant and whoever want to

be first must be your slave-…”

-Matthew 20:26