Marriage and Divorce

“Hatred stirs up dissension but love covers all wrongs.”

-Proverbs 10:12

                Love is a beautiful thing. It is a thing of God. 1 John 4:7-8 tells us to love one another because love is from God. Whoever does not love does not know God. God lives in us and is complete in us if we show love. You might ask what I’m getting at. Well, today I want to discuss marriage. And what is at the center of a marriage? God and love.

 Marriage: the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or  wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law; a covenant.

                Marriage was the first institution created by God in Genesis chapter 2. It’s a sacred and holy covenant. God says that it is a good thing for a man and a woman to be married together.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

-Proverbs 18:22

                We are not to go out and look for our spouses but let love be found on its own. God will place that right person in your life when He feels the time is right. Don’t listen to Christianmingle.com commercials; it’s not our duty to go out and do a duty that God is supposed to do for us.

“Do not arouse or awaken love, until it so desires.”

-Song of Songs 2:7

                God has ordained us and given us permission to marry! But we are only to have one spouse. Note how in the next verse it does not say husbands or wives.

“But since there is so much immorality, each man should have

his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”

-1 Corinthians 7:2

                Marriage is sacred thing but today’s divorce rates are high; as a matter of fact, approximately fifty percent of marriages fail. Why? There are several plausible reasons. They might have had a relationship based on lust or one partner mistreated the other. They might not have had God at the center of their relationship. God does not agree with divorce nor does He support it. When you commit to marriage with your spouse, you are making a promise to God as well. You aren’t supposed to break promises with Him.

“When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has

no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not

to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your

mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger,

“My vow was a mistake.”

-Ecclesiastes 5:4-6

                So, what does the bible say exactly about divorce? It’s detestable unless for a legitimate reason. And what is that reason? Marital unfaithfulness. Matthew 5:32 says that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness (adultery, prostitution, pornography, etc…), causes her to become an adulteress. She can never remarry once she divorces her husband. If she does marry again, the man who marries her will be an adulterer.

“I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel…”

-Malachi 2:16

“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not 
separate from her husband.But if she does, she must remain unmarried or 
else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not 
 divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother 
has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to 
live with her, she must not divorce him.For the unbelieving husband 
has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has 
been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children 
would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”

-1 Corinthians 7:10-14

“But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is 
not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.  
How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, 
how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

-1 Corinthians 7:15-16

“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as 
long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the 
law that binds her to him. 3 So then, if she has sexual 
relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an
 adulteress. But if her husband dies,she is released from that law and 
is not an adulteress if she marries another man.”

-Romans 7:2-3

                So, how can you avoid divorce? Apply the Bible to your lives and your relationship. The basic instructions of the bible can help you in all relationships and all aspects of your life.

WIVES

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head

of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ,

so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

-Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the  
behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

-1 Peter 3:1-2

“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,

but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”

-Proverbs 12:4

HUSBANDS

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any

other blemish, but only holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands out to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”

-Ephesians 5:25-28

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with

 respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so

that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

-1 Peter 3:7

SPOUSES

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands love

your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

-Colossians 3:18-19

“Do to others as you would like them to do to you.”

-Luke 6:31

“Serve one another with the gifts each of you received,

thus becoming good managers of the varies graces of God.”

-1 Peter 4:10

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility

consider others better than yourselves.”

-Philippians 2:3

“A gossip betrays a confidence,

but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.”

-Proverbs 11:13

“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge,

but he who hates correction is stupid.”

-Proverbs 12:1

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”

-Proverbs 10:19

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

-Proverbs 12:18

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only

such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give

grace to those who hear.”

-Ephesians 4:29

Submisson

              The word 'submit' means to voluntarily put yourself in another person's hands. Chaos occurs when everyone is trying to lead at the same time. So the husband has been designated by God (Genesis 3:16) in each family to be the lead and the other to put themselves in the leader's trusting hands. The wife is not stupid or talentless but is weaker as a physical vessel and should be treated accordingly.

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives,

and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as

heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

-1 Peter 3:7            

                Many women today feel that they can be the head of the house and that they can boss their husbands around. They feel that they have the final say in everything and try to control the husband. However, the bible tells us that the wife is supposed to be submissive to the husband.

“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife as

Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is Savior.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also

wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

-Ephesians 5:22-24

“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

-Colossians 3:18

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands,

so that, if any of them do not believe

the word, they may be won over without

words by the behavior of their wives…”

1 Peter 3:1

-A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;

restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand.”

-Proverbs 27:15

“Better to live on a corner of the roof than

share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

-Proverbs 25:24

                However, remember not to take these passages out of context. A woman should not give in to her husband blindly, totally, and completely if it means violating her rights or causes her to sin. It does not mean to treat her like a minor without good judgment.

                This passage is often quoted by husbands when the wife does the opposite of what the husband wants her to do. This passage does not justify the abuse of wife-abuse physically or verbally. The wife is the heart of the family; her actions are often based on emotions. The man’s job is the head of the family; his actions are based on reasoning most of the time. They are meant to complement each other and work together, not contradict.

                A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the church. And how does Christ love? With a sacrificial love.  And this must be the husband’s love for his wife.  It must be a sacrificial love!  It must never be a selfish love.  Christ loved the church, not that the church might do things for Him, but that He might do things for the church. This would assure the woman that she could not be abused in any way and would make it very easy to submit to him.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved

the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,…”

-Ephesians 5:16

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

-Colossians 3:19

       

                If Jesus is the head of the church and the head of his body that the Father has given to him, then he is the head of the bride or wife in the spiritual marriage contract between mankind and God. We, in the spiritual marriage, are to be submissive to the Lord’s will.

           

           Did Jesus ever say that he rebelled against the Father's wishes? No! He said that whatever he was doing it was because the Father had sent him to do it. This shows an awful lot of respect and trust in Jesus by the Father to do the right thing doesn't it? Did Jesus ever think it wrong to admit that he was God and that he had an equal footing in the Godhead before and after he became Jesus the Christ? No, for the Bible states:

"Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the

 form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself

 of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men."

-Philippians 2:5-7

            In another place he says that he laid down his own life and that it was not taken from him without his permission:

"By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.  

And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. "

-1 John 3:16

                So what does Jesus' behavior have to do with being a good submissive wife to your husband? Jesus is the spiritual wife in this relationship between him and God and he submitted his will unto the Father and trusted him to execute the plan that they both discussed before the Creation was formed. Should not wives be doing the same? The only reason that a wife would not is if she is being mistreated, abused or betrayed. God condemns treachery and that was how Jesus was treated when he was given over to the Sanhedrin and for that matter by us who have been the ones who were guilty of disobedience in the first place.

                And even in a marriage relationship we are not to live under turmoil but in peace and if this is not happening we need to leave this kind of relationship.

"But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage

 in such cases.  But God has called us to peace. "

-1 Corinthians 7:15

                The woman should trust the man that he will make the right decisions. But sometimes the wife may have more expertise in a certain situation and her opinion should be taken into consideration.

"For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.  'For this

reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.'This is a great 
mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.  
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife 
see that she respects her husband."

-Ephesians 5:30-33

            However, submission is not a wife only deal. A man should also be submissive in certain situations. It is important in all relationships that submission occurs-not in the wrong situations, but when it is possible. We are to develop relationships of trust and confidence and respect so there is an element of submission in everything we do. Jesus submitted to the Father's will until he was crucified and then The Father put all authority under the feet of Jesus. The wife submits to her own husband and he loves her so much that he in turn gives much authority and trust and confidence in her opinion and sets her in high esteem for the world to see. To understand the meaning of submission from God's perspective we must first of all submit to God and do as he has instructed so that we may all benefit from a lifetime of blessings.

“Instead, whoever wants to become great among you

must be your servant and whoever want to

be first must be your slave-…”

-Matthew 20:26